It’s been a crazy hectic year for me. I’m typically an open person especially on social media. I also typically make very long and lengthy posts, so why not start a blog? Maybe someone will read it… besides my mom. (I’ve always made that joke, she’s my number one fan AND unfortunately most honest critic)
I initially started this website/blog “thing” about a month after being diagnosed with anxiety and depression on October 4th, 2017, hoping that maybe it might ease my journey to a healthier mindset. However, like the big procrastinator I am, it is now exactly 6 months since my diagnosis and here I am making my first post because…. I don’t want to start my homework yet on this too long of a Sunday night.
Well, as I’ve said, I’m 6 months in to my “treatment” of having anxiety and depression and now that it’s been a month… I guess I can announce my suspected “adult ADD/ADHD.” I’m never exactly proud to say that I have these mental health issues, but I do and I’m trying to better myself. I never wanted to have to take medication or see a therapist to feel more like “myself” but I’ve honestly never felt more myself than I do now. I wouldn’t say every day is easy for me while on the medication, sometimes it’s really draining.
My symptoms didn’t quite alarm me much until Fall 2016 of my freshman year in college. I moved into the dorms/on campus apartments, and was technically only 30 minutes from home, but being even that far made me so homesick. The amount of friends I made I can literally count on my fingers. Technically not “friends”, but more what one would consider group mates. I could never be the one who would sit down next to someone and compliment their outfit or ask them their name and how their day was going. That just wasn’t me. Instead, I huddled close to my phone and kept to myself. Immediately after my classes, I’d go back to my room and sulk in my misery. (My mom would call this lazy…) but I honest to god could not find the motivation in me to get myself out of bed. I’d lie awake at the ceiling and stare at it for HOURS. The ceiling was really high, and my thoughts were endless. Something about letting the darkness of my room swallow me whole was comforting but also unhealthy all at the same time. This sad and isolated part of my evenings, I’ve never told anyone. This post could go on, but I don’t want to turn this first post into something depressing.
Cheers to finally writing my first blog post and I’m so glad I have way too much to blab about on my mind! Please don’t hesitate to message me if there’s anything I should blog about!! I love to write, and I honestly miss doing so.
Thanks for reading!
Until next time,